Thursday, March 31, 2011

Happy April Fools' Day!!!

I’d say that the fools of this world must have done a thing or two right in order to deserve a special day to commemorate their foolishness. J J. . . No, I am really serious about this because how is it that there is April Fools’ Day and not Wiseman/Smart-ass Day. Only one answer comes to mind; may be, . . . just may be,  these people we term “fools” may in fact be the smarter people of the world who simply choose to play the role of “the fool” for the betterment of all.  If I were to go by the definition of a “fool” as it is in the dictionary, these people cannot remotely be deserving of a special day universally set out for them; or would they?

This was my precise thoughts today as I was driving back from work and thinking how this month of March raced past me so fast and I am staring April 1, 2011 in the face in the next couple of hours! I tried to dig up a dignifying definition of “a fool” from the dictionary but did not find any definition that was dignifying so I give up :-(.

In the context of love, relationships and life generally, I think the so called “fools” fare better than any other category of people that I know.  I remember my Dad always saying that for every successful relationship, there is in it, in fact, someone who acts/plays “the fool”.  Why is that the case I remembered asking my Dad, and his reply; “because acting the fool means overlooking a lot; being quick to forgive your partner, and most importantly, looking to the future instead of looking to past mistakes”. Most importantly,  he said that these so-called “fools in love” always seem very content and happy in their relationships. on the other hand, playing “smart” in a relationship on the other hand would entail using the past as a sure predictor of the future which translates to the fact that one major mistake on your part will effectively seal your destiny if you happen to be in a relationship with these so-called “smart people” since they will never let go of your past mistakes. We know that a fixation with past mistakes of your partner is a sure recipe to the demise of any relationship.

OMG . . .; how profound is that! I totally agree with my Daddy!

As a young adult in my pre-marital days, I was always fascinated by people in loving relationships.  I was and still am a hopeful romantic:-) I would secretly seat back and watch them to see if I can figure out the party “playing the fool” as I always thought they were really great people! It usually was difficult for me to figure out given that everyone appeared happy plus a few minutes or hours just isn’t enough timeJ!  These people purposefully played the role of “the fool” for the betterment of their relationship or may be for the love they had for their spouses and partners J.

Let’s fast-forward to the adult years when we are in actual relationships; either a marital relationship or simply dating someone we really care about.  A full commitment by both parties in the relationship to “playing the fool” will almost always guarantee the picture perfect relationship. Right?  Well . . .  the truth however as we know it is that it never quite happens like that.  What if we really genuinely and deeply love the other person? Can we invest in the role of “playing the fool” for the sake of the love we have for the other party?

For me, “playing the fool” does not in fact make you the fool. It does make you ultimately the smarter one in the relationship because you choose to look forward and not backwards. You choose to be more forgiving, and to overlook a whole lot, and of course to complain less about everything that we see that is wrong with our partners. (Which of course can be millions of things) LOL!!!

In relationships, you’d always hear people generally say that a ship with two captains is always a doomed ship!  Personally I think that a ship can have two captains and sail perfectly fine provided these two captains agree on their ultimate destinations, (yes I say destination(s) because it is perfectly fine to sail to two totally different ports once the captains are in agreement); one of the captains choosing to play foolish for the sake of the journey (commitment), the passengers, and hopefully the captain!  (whom he or she still loves despite their obvious foolishness). J

Choosing to play the fool does not mean you become unhappy and begrudging about it. It is a conscious choice and must be embraced wholeheartedly since it comes from a higher place, a place of selflessness and love!

I do not, in any way, shape, or form advocate that a person stays in a relationship in which the other party is verbally, physically and emotionally abusive!  For me, abuse of any sort tips the scale and is a major deal-breaker unless the perpetrator is rehabilitated! What I do advocate however, is a situation where we are all willing to play “the fool” in our relationships in order to nurture that picture perfect and ultimately positive and loving relationship we all crave! When we return fire for fire in our relationships, we obviously create a fiery explosion and hope the fir-department comes soon enough to quell the damage. LOL;. . .J Playing the fool mean pouring water on a fiery situation, which almost always quenches the flames.

“Playing the fool” does not mean we are weak! It means that we are strong enough to appreciate the challenges in a relationship and smart enough to avoid destroying that which we have created and invested a lot in”! It is almost a divine role to play in any relationship!

Everyone that I know of desires a picture-perfect relationship! Few of these people are willing to assume the roles of “the fool” for the sake of their relationship! 

April Fools’ day is here guys!!!!  As we are pulling off the baddest April Fools’ jokes on our family and friends, Can we also commit to “playing more of the fool” in our relationships?  It is almost like being child-like! Children will forget that you disappointed them or hurt them a minute after the fact and will still love you nonetheless! Children rarely hold on to grudges.

Can we all commit to playing this role even if it is only for this month of April? It is therapeutic and can heal our relationships even if it appears really rocky at this time!  You are choosing something divine over something human!  Your partner will marvel at the new you! I think we can do it.

Have a Wonderful April Fools’ Day and a wonderful month as you assume your new role J wink . . .wink. . . wink. . .

Lovingly yours,



  1. Yeah ..Someone has to play the fool for any relationship to be successful even the relationship we have with our friends .

  2. Whoa!! Another mega write-up on relationship!! Nothing much to add on this piece!! Totally concur with your summation that in a relationship of any type someone has to play the fool for the relationship to be successful! I like!!! I like!! I like!!!! Keeping it coming babes!!!

  3. @Bisi, Yes indeed my dear! Every successful relationship and as you said, friendship also, has one of the party "playing the fool". People need to realize this and be ready to put in the work it demands!

    Thanks Bisi for your always insightful comments!

  4. @Ide, Thank you very much! I will keep it coming my love:-)

  5. Ogor, this article could not have come at a more better time than on April Fool's Day. We live in a 'wise world' where everyone and everything you can think of have 'rights'. But Playing the fool has its rewards in any kind of relationship. The Bible even says there are some set of people worse than 'fools'. Have a look:
    "Do you see a man who speaks in haste? There is more hope for a fool than for him"(Proverbs 29:20.
    "Do you see a man wise in his own eyes? There is more hope for a fool than for him"(Prov 26:12).As the English will say, we stoop to conquer, by seemingly playing the fool in order to have peace, love, harmony in our relationships. Overlooking faults,turning a blind eye, quick to forgive and above all willing to forgo our rights for once! Are you having a laugh? that will literally make me a door mat, you will say. No. It would not. At some point in our lives we need to bend low so we can pick up dirt from the floor. Standing over it and cursing at it will not help at all. We stoop to conquer when the other party think they are more superior, wiser, more educated, wealthier and know everything. Sooner or later the wiser one will emerge when you play the fool. Relax, be a 'fool' do not give 'fire for fire' but seek good and peace for the one/ones you love.

  6. @Ime, I LOVE that!!!! Thank you for such a great and insightful contribution!I love the biblical quotation:-)Thank you once again for enlightening me and my readers:-)

  7. Lol. My hubby always plays the fool in our relationship. God bless him and grant me the humility to also fool the sometimes!!! Very informative write up and on point. Thanks for sharing.

  8. @Hyacynthia, you are truly blessed to have a spouse that is willing to play such a pivotal role in your relationship. A role which I consider selfless and almost divine! Your goal now should be to step into his shoes as many times as you can in order to transform the already good relationship to GREAT! Thank you for your candor!

  9. Ogor, Thanks for sharing this great and insightful topic. I have always wondered what actual is 'April Fools Day' for? Now I know better. Yes, in every successful relationship,there's always someone playing the 'FOOL'. I like reading your articles.Thumbs Up!

  10. @Phyllis, it is most pleasing to find that you really enjoy these articles! Thank you for your insights and kind comments:-) I truly appreciate it!