Friday, February 18, 2011

The Power of Self-belief . . .

“Anything is possible for those who can Believe” I am not sure who said this quote first, but I can attest to the profound truth inherent in this quote! Undoubtedly, most of the successful people in the world have a really healthy dose of “self-belief”.  So there must be a weighty correlation between self-belief and success. Self-belief when frequently utilized evolves in to “self-confidence”. In fact, we all need both traits before we can make great strides in whatever our endeavor or calling is! Self-belief and self-confidence are both essential hallmarks of success!

Now, what is self-belief? I see self-belief as that trait that makes us believe that we are capable (on our own) of navigating to our desired destination irrespective of the odds. Self-belief demands that we focus on our strengths and not on our weaknesses. Self-belief demands that we see ourselves only at the finish line and not be pre-occupied with how to get there because we already know that we only need to start moving and that someone, we would reach the finish line!

Generally, very successful people tend to believe that they CAN do whatever it is, and guess what . . .  They usually get it done despite the odds. On the other hand, less successful people usually doubt their self-worth and believe they may not be able to do whatever it is. It gets even worse for people like this, they would in fact come up with a million reasons why they are doomed to fail; and you know what, BINGO! – they fail! 
Bottom line, and most importantly, as Henry Ford put it, “whether you believe you can do a thing or not, either way you are right”.

 Self-confidence comes from a place of faith. The power of faith permeates every religion in the world including Christianity! The Bible is replete with amazing faith-based stories and quotes.  Self-confidence demands an unequivocal belief in yourself despite your limitations. You alone can decide to focus less on those limitations and more on your strength’s. I personally refer to “self-belief” as the “deal commencer” and “self-confidence”, as the “deal finisher”. You need self-belief to start whatever it is, and must walk along with self-confidence in order to pass the finish line. Do not bother starting a new venture when you lack these twin qualities! Without self-belief, and self-confidence, the future definitely becomes a series of uphill battles. It is only when you believe in yourself that you are able to bring others to your side, no matter what your calling is in life.  There are people we call “charismatic”, who may not necessarily be the most educated, smartest or best looking people in a room and yet; everyone in the room is instantly drawn to their magnetic energy!  They exude self-confidence and have an easy breezy personality about them. Ever met people like that? I have!

A lack of self-confidence permeates every inch of your being and always has abysmal outcomes. There is usually and quite honestly a sad trademark about people who lack these twin traits. People with little or no self-confidence usually thrive on pointing out flaws in others rather than fixing their own limitations and flaws. It is very important that we are comfortable in our own skin because our entire personality is constantly projecting either a healthy dose of self-confidence or a lack of it.  If you are seeking employment or trying to sell a product or an idea to another, your body language tells the potential buyer, whether you are worth giving a shot or not! It is that simple! A lack of self-belief and confidence is practically like going into a battle already defeated!

Let’s talk a little bit about limitations. No one comes custom-made with exact specifications. Every human being is conscious of a flaw or a limitation which can only become obvious to people and circumstances if we draw attention to it by exuding a lack of self-confidence. These limitations can also become huge obstacles to our confidence level if we dwell unnecessarily on them without finding ways to improve those limitations. Picture it like this, every person that you see (including yourself) is struggling with some limitation that they wish didn’t exist or that they could change and so, life essentially becomes a battle of who is better able to feel comfortable in their skin despite those limitations. You must trust in yourself and believe that you are good enough and deserving of beautiful and wonderful things in order for beautiful and wonderful things to happen to you.

To a large extent, most adults who struggle with this lack of belief in themselves actually may have been children who lacked encouragement from the adults and care-givers in their lives at a much younger age and then unconsciously assimilates this lack of self-belief into their psyche. This should be the number one reason why we must encourage our children and praise every little effort they make because it unconsciously molds them into confident adults. (and this can be hard when they push our buttons, but so worth doing)J

Wanna try some self-confidence tips and experience its transformational effects in your business and relationships? Here are some really helpful suggestions that work:
  1. Love and adore yourself even with your limitations. Everyone is struggling with theirs. When you love yourself, people sense that you are comfortable in your own skin and are instantly drawn to you. Most importantly, people cannot find you lovable and loving when you cannot even cut yourself that slack ! For a lot of people that I know, having love in their lives can actually be a huge self-belief/confidence booster!
  2. Commit only to seeing the finish line and picture yourself crossing it! Just start without over- analyzing the means. The “means” usually shows up when you start from a place of self-belief and faith.
  3. Work on improving your limitation if you think it is a huge obstacle to your success.
  4. Always believe in positive outcomes! Do not doubt or preempt a situation because you will usually get your expected outcome. Even an iota of doubt will always jinx what would have been favorable outcome.
  5. Discover or re-discover a talent or hobby that has lain dormant inside of you for years. Hone that skill and perfect it. Doing what you do well and recording successes is a huge confidence booster!
  6. Practice stepping out of your comfort zone often times. Repeat that thing which you find may be helpful to your carrier or your relationship but you aren't just comfortable with it yet. Keep at it and never give up. When you experience the gratification that comes with it, it gives you more impetus to believe in yourself!
  7. Surround yourself with positive people who can applaud your strength and mildly point out your weaknesses. Essentially, People who believe in you. By the same token, try to be that person who can honestly tell another that they have faith in them. It’s really powerful That way, you are building your self-confidence and that of another person.
  8.  Never wait to get a majority support before embarking on something that you believe in. Start with one percent support from a place of self-belief; when success comes knocking on your door, you will get 120% support. That is plain and simple human nature!
  9. Practice seeing and acknowledging only the good in others and commend them for it! It usually comes back to you either directly or indirectly. It is also a huge confidence booster. Unduly focusing on others and their negatives will keep you in a negative place and bring further negative outcomes to you resulting in the depletion of your already ravaged self-belief and self-confidence.
  10. Never believe anyone who tells you that you cannot do it because you can! Rid your life of people who always tell you that you cannot and are constantly looking for faults. They are toxic to your health and also to your life because you can unconsciously believe their truth for you which is quite different from your truth which is the one that matters! You are the sole captain of your ship! If you believe them, you are doomed for failure.

On a closing note, I know of people who have embraced this attitude of self-belief and self-confidence and watched their lives transform from ordinary to extraordinary. I have also seen people who have stood behind the same fence for years afraid to step into their destiny. Would you dare to step into your destiny?

Lovingly yours,



  1. Very positive goals that can be easily achieved. As always, you have provided very simple and easy steps to follow to reach those goals. I enjoy reading your posts. Give us more, soon!

  2. @ Chis, the pleasure is mine as well:-) Thank you very much for making out time to read the posts and yes, I will keep 'em coming.

  3. Babes, yet another marvelous, well-articulated and inspirational piece on self-belief and self-confidence!!! Awesome!!!! I love it!!!! To add to your already impeccable piece, I think the difference between a healthy dose of self-confidence and a lack of or low self-confidence is that a healthy dose self-confidence makes you do that which you believe to be right, even when others criticize you and do not necessarily agree with you while a lack of or low self-confidence is manifested through adjusting one’s behavior in order to conform to what others want even when it is at odds with what you believe in.
    A willingness and ability to take risks and go the extra mile to achieve the goals you set for yourself is definitely another indicia of self-confidence but staying in your comfort zone, fearing failure and avoiding taking risks is definitely a sign of a lack of or low self-confidence.
    In my opinion, self-confidence is definitely attainable as long as we have the focus and determination to carry things through.
    Babe, I agree with Chis that you should keep them coming!!! I love luv!!!!!

  4. Thank you my love! You did give me the wings . . . You are someone who doesn't need a lesson in self-belief and self-confidence :-) Yes, I will keep 'em coming.

  5. Thanks Babes!! Keep on keeping on!!!

  6. You know, this kind of takes me back to some Igbo song (Helen Nkume) that translates, "if I were unwanted weed, my enemies would uproot me".. I would always add that even friends will do same. A lot of reasoning in your blog, I also know that lack of self confidence does shows up in people who often lavish others with praise,encourage others but yet in themselves, they do not believe. They are always there for everyone;because they appear stoic and are verbally confident on behalf of others, friends may never notice.

  7. Thanks Azor for your always insightful contribution.

  8. Thank you CNN27! Glad you enjoyed it!