To all the women (and men)out there who are raising children, I am sending your way, a heartfelt shout out! I think we are all doing a job that I believe to be one of the most important, tremendous and sometimes daunting jobs in the world! I promised myself that I must find the humor or what I always call my “happy” in every crazy situation that I am facing because there is always a blessing in every crazy or stormy circumstance. We need only the willingness to persist and hold on, just a little longer.
Once upon a time, I was that mom that wanted to do it all, while having the spickiest house in the world; but alas, children have taught me that my role is not to be perfect but to be the best that I can possibly be especially when it comes to the spicky factor around my home. Do you get my drift? I know that there are moms very much like me who have tried every conceivable trick known to man to get their children to be the best they possibly can be, especially in terms of their home chores and school work. I have done rewards, “real” hysterical crying, “fake” hysterical crying. I have felt real heart break in which I actually did feel real physical pain; faked heart break with amazing results too because the children did fall for it and the minute they leave my presence, I fall to the floor and melt in a feat of real laughter. I have done angry screams, the kind that you feel your lung straining under the pressure, taken away their most prized possession, etc. . .:-) Any moms (or dads) out here ever tried any of these fun antics?. . .Of course, we all have. . .:-) Don’t even lie. . . J
I often travel down memory lane to the days where it was my husband and I and a house that is every inch the idyllic spick and span house. Every piece of furniture as well as every single item in the house looked the exact same way it did when it arrived from the store. Even though friends often told me at the time that these obsessive compulsive orderliness would drastically change when the babies start arriving. You should hear me say, “NO. . .NO”, I am allergic to disorderliness of any kind” “Not in this house”. Those years seem so far away. I remember how diligent I use to be in picking up and returning items to their proper locations while wiping and cleaning every single spill when it was only baby no. 1, but then comes no. two, no. three and four and I have to confess that it seemed they finally cured my allergy for disorderliness. I pick what I can, when I can; and make them pick the rest.
Last week, I was suffering a bout of the flu and stayed home. I kept walking past their playroom and for some strange reason; it looked as if the couch was calling out to me. My husband bought this beautiful, expensive, brown leather couch a couple of years ago and one day, I discovered a little hole (size of my hand) under the couch, (thanks to my lovely children) and we decided that the couch should go inside their playroom as a visitor might lose their car keys and lift up the cushion in search of the keys and it will not be such a good sight to behold! That was precisely how the couch became theirs, the childrens’.
I passed their play room and decided to pick up the toys and sweep out the room; something good that will help me feel better from the congestion and fever. After I was done sweeping and picking up the toys, I turned to leave the room and it looked like this couch was calling me (at least that was what it felt like). I went back into the room and sat on the couch. I remembered that hole from months before and saw myself lifting the cushion, ok,. . . , that small hole from a couple of months ago, is officially a giant man hole (seriously!) I noticed that it had some snack wrappers, sticking out of it and I put my hands inside the hole to get what I thought was a couple of snack wrapperss out of the hole and my hand sunk even deeper into what looked like a landmine of candy and snack wrappers. I was livid with anger! I got a trash bag and started stuffing it up until I filled it up with the wrappers. I am thinking that almost every snack that I had bought in my house had their wrappers at this final resting place, inside this couch. Oh my God! My once lovely, lovely brown leather couch that housed so many precious memories (for my Bubu and I. . .:-) is now a landfill of snack debris and wrappers! The more snack wrappers I got out, the higher my anger meter rose! (Remember that I was already feeling awful from the flu) I am thinking that we will all be dead by the time they get back from school! I know that I make them clean out this room almost on a daily basis and they must know about the landfill because they filled it up themselves!
Amidst all of this anger, I get a text from my cell phone company reminding me that the bill for the kids’ cell phone is due! They have lost their cell phone for at least three months and I have made them look everywhere in the house for that phone and they just have never been able to find it! For some weird reason, I just never disconnected their phone because I knew that their cell phone was somewhere in the house! I grudgingly made the stupid payment for a non-existent phone and got back to work; a work that was taking me almost one hour – One whole hour to clean out “my couch”, their “snack wrapper land fill”! I finally got the last of the snack wrappers and decided that I needed to elevate the couch in order to make all of the snack debris go on one side of the couch so I could suck it all out with a vacuum cleaner. When I elevated the couch, I heard lots of items settling exactly where I wanted them to go and I stuck my hand inside once again, and here is a list of the items that I discovered, in the exact order of discovery ;-)
Two remote controls (one for my daughter’s room and the other from their play room) – missing for months. For the first time since the cleaning started, I broke into a BIG smile! “This is so unbelievable”, I thought, “The kids would be very happy to finally have their remote controls back”. Next, I discovered 27 pencils, 11 pens, 2 erasers and 3 sharpeners. You must guess that I was officially at a really healthy and happy frequency, the frequency that had eluded me all morning; (I am thinking that I would not spend any dime on pencils and pens for the rest of the school yearJ. Next, you are not gonna believe this, . . .I stuck my right hand in, one more time, and out came my hand with “their cell phone”! Yep!,. . .their cell phone had been in that couch all these monthsJ. I just started jumping up and down and screaming in joy! I was ecstatic! Finally, the discovery that made me roll on the floor and laugh like I had never done in a really long time! Listen to this, “two tiny human teeth”. . .:-) Did the tooth fairy decide that my couch was a good place to keep those? I remember my last son, Kenny and my older daughter looking for their lost tooth months ago, and wondering if anyone had seen them. .(lol!)
A day that started really crappy, ended really great! That couch kept calling for help and I answered that call! LOL! When the kids came back from school, they were beside themselves with joy! They have their cell phone as well as their remote control back and even their teeth (LOL!!). Anyway, after speaking to them about the couch, they promised that they would not stuff it up again with the snack wraps and I have been checking since last week and no wraps yet. . . I think children are incredible! They test us every day; but most importantly, they teach us resilience and strength and add a huge “happy” into our lives! Personally, my kids have taught me that there is no such thing as the “perfect mom” and that I only needed to be the best possible mom that I can be to them!
In the meantime, I am not giving up on my various antics as they have worked so far. . .:-) I would love to hear about new antics that have worked for you with your kidsJ. Hope everyone is enjoying this lovely new month of October! ~xoxo~
Lovingly yours,
Ogor Winnie Okoye
